Almost Got Him
by roxannlette
Summary: It's game night in the Sank kingdom, and three ladies have a story to tell about Heero. Het and shonen ai (R+1 and 1+4 implied)


**Almost Got Him:**

Warnings: Gambling, sarcasm, flashbacks, Batman: TAS fusion (see endnotes), and as always I've thrown a monkey-wrench into the timeline. Unrequited R+1, brief hint of 9+6, 1+4+1 (hey if you know me, you know I don't deviate from this pairing too much! ^_^)

Rating: Pretty-tame het and shonen ai, so it's PG-13

Disclaimer: I own Gundam Wing. Then I wake up.

Feedback: Free T-shirt. Seriously, we need to liberate the T-shirts. Feed me back if you like, but please, think of the T-shirts.

Soundtrack: Tricky "Black Steel", The Clash "Wrong 'Em Boyo", and anything by David Bowie. I'm feeling quite British, as you can see. A new royal family, of wild nobility, and we are the family!

Key:

***** Regular story break

-*-*-*-*- Flashback-y-ness

"Ladies," Dorothy nodded to them as she entered the room, and then focused her gaze on one in particular "and Noin."

"Very funny," Noin said flatly. "It was funnier the first ten times or so. You need a new line little girl."

"Dorothy!" The cry of reprimand and shock came from Relena. "That's not very nice."

"Miss Relena, I've told you I don't mind-"

"I apologize sincerely Miss Relena, I'm sorry if I offended you, m'lady." Dorothy added with one of her clumsy twitches of the lips, that one could be defined as a sneer or a smirk. She and Noin often had many older-younger woman taunts that they threw back at each other in jest. Relena had yet to fully grasp the joke of it all, then again it was in her nature to calm and to soothe.

"Well, are we playing? Or are you two finishing out this hand?" Dorothy asked as she sat at the card table with the other two.

"We were playing 'Fish' waiting for you to show up, what shall it be tonight?" Noin asked as she took the cards from Relena and began to shuffle.

"I'm up for Gin again, but if you two want to change it-"

"YES! Change it please, poker? Something with a bigger ante." Dorothy pleaded to Noin.

"You do realize we're still playing for these? Right Dorothy?" Relena asked as she held up several bags of snackfood. Marshmallows, potato chips, cookies, and pretzel sticks, the usual stakes.

"Aw you're no fun." Dorothy frowned and put her hands on her knees.

"Hey, there's a war going on, some of us are trying to save our funds." Noin smirked at her. "Quit throwing a hissy fit, I promise you a *real* game, someday."

"You think they'll let me visit you in the old folks' home by then?"

"Only if it's not past your bedtime."

"You two!" Relena tried to stay mad, really she did, but she just sucked her teeth and smiled. "Honestly... You're such children."

"Children? At a school! Heaven forbid..." Dorothy clutched her chest feigning audacity.

"Hey!" Noin interrupted before Relena could get more anxious. "Ante up, or do you need help counting?"

"I'm putting in... this many." Dorothy played along, holding up seven mismatched fingers, as a child would when telling an adult their age.

"We should start smaller, don't you think?" Noin said, beginning to deal.

"I say one each, until we see our cards." Relena said as she straightened her pile.

"What are we playing, 5-stud?" Dorothy asked as she ordered her hand as it was speedily dealt.

"5-draw." Noin said finishing her deal, and collecting her cards.

"How do you play a 'stud' game?" Relena mused.

Dorothy paused, and then the cruel little motion of her lips returned. "Well first, we find a *stud*. You wouldn't happen to have brought any studs to Sank recently Miss Relena Peacecraft?" She said, her voiced dripping with sarcasm and teasing.

"I-I don't know what you-"

"She's talking about Heero, Miss Relena." Noin said as she studied her cards, to hide the smile.

"Heero!" Dorothy said delightedly.

"Heero." Noin replied steadily.

"Heero..." Relena trailed dreamily.

Mind you the successions of "Heero" happened simultaneously; causing poor Heero, (wherever he was hiding that night,) to sneeze violently.

Dorothy broke into a fit of laughter, which Noin eventually joined. Relena just tried to bury herself in her hand of cards.

"Can we just play?" Noin asked after calming herself down. And they did, until they reached an impasse of quietude, which was odd for game night.

Relena was the first one to bite, "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes!" Dorothy starting laughing quietly. "I was afraid I was going to have to do something to break that silence. Three please." She tossed her discards to Noin.

"I think it's sweet Miss Relena." Noin smiled at her, although she was thinking of another member of the Peacecraft family...

"He's quite a catch, too." Dorothy said as she ordered her cards. Relena just blushed a bit, nibbling on a pretzel stick, smiling, and perking up almost immediately.

"He is though, isn't he?!" She beamed, and seeing the looks on Dorothy and Noin's faces, she retreated back to munching on her winnings. "I mean, um, nevermind..."

Dorothy speared a marshmallow with her nail, and took a bite. "Do tell."

"That's disgusting." Noin sneered at Dorothy.

"Who, Heero?" Relena asked quickly.

"No that," Noin pointed at Dorothy doing an obscene job at sucking marshmallow goo off her finger. She smiled a toothy smile and directed an especially nasty lick at Noin.

"Dorothy!"

"You must have a good story about Heero, Miss Relena, I see you two together most of the time."

"Nothing happens," Relena defended weakly, Noin and Dorothy weren't buying it fro their expressions. "Well, there was this one time..."

-*-*-*-*-

I love the sky at dawn, I really do.

However, I'm not so fond of being rained down upon with the fist of God.

I was up early, to watch the sunset from the campus lawn, and it was odd from the beginning, the colors just weren't right. The clouds were too thick, and before I knew it.

Flash flooding, I think they call it. Just a sudden burst of rain, with no end in sight.

And of course, I was stranded in the middle of the fields, trudging through the freshly made mud, trying to reach the trees, some form of cover, more then the book I was pathetically holding over my head, when-

He showed up from behind me, how does he do that? Covering the both of us with his jacket.

"Get closer, or it won't cover the both of us." He said. And well, I did what anyone else would do, I guess. I wrapped my hands around his waist. And we made for the trees.

He was cold, and as clammy as I was. My fingertips had already gone numb, and the air was filled with that wet, summer rain smell. Like the Earth, like undiluted nature.

We eventually got their, and we just stood under the trees. I was wringing out my hair, her was watching the storm. I walked up next to him, trying to rub feeling back into my hands.

"What were you doing out there?" He asked me.

"I like to watch the sunrise, sometimes." I answered. "What were you doing here?"

He just paused, the way he does y'know? Right before he either says the most important, or the most frightening thing he'll ever say to you.

"I can't sleep either." And he looked at me. We were both cold, and wet and trembling, I moreso then him. We were like that for an hour, or maybe just a few minutes. But eventually I just, sort of fell to him, we got closer and closer and-

"The rain's stopped." He said.

I. Could. Have. Died. I was so embarrassed!

He walked me back to the dorms, and I was ready to give up completely, when he turns to me.

Out from his jacket, was my book, slightly damp, but nevertheless in perfect condition. I remember dropping it when he snuck up on me, but, he must have rescued it from the mud? I didn't understand.

I didn't get it until I got back to my room, and I noticed it was marked off in the wrong place.

He gave me his copy.

-*-*-*-*-

"How... *poetic* Miss Relena," Dorothy smiled, "You *almost* got him."

"I don't know, he's so mysterious sometimes..." Relena chewed her lip thoughtfully.

"Three pair," Noin lay down her hand. "The good ones always are, Miss Relena."

"Baaaah!" Dorothy threw out her hand in frustration, "I got nothing."

"I *knew* you were bluffing!" Relena smiled, although her hand was no better, and Noin gleefully scooped the pot into her pile.

"Well Noin," Dorothy began, "You seem to spend quite a bit of time with Heero Yuy. What do you know about him that you're not telling us?"

Noin and Relena both drew back a bit. Dorothy wasn't supposed to know that Heero was a Gundam pilot, hiding with fellow pilot Quatre at the Sank kingdom as a cover. Noin danced around her questions, as she dealt another hand. And then thought up a quick anecdote, to keep Dorothy from digging deeper.

"Well if you really must know, Miss Catalonia-"

"And I do." Dorothy said, leaning in. Relena looked a bit curious as she furrowed her brow over her cards.

"There was this one night,"

-*-*-*-*-

I'm a caffeine addict. It's horrible I know. But it's the one vice I think I can allow myself.

So, I'm a nightbird, it's no secret.

But sometimes, when the work's done and I'm still buzzed, I get hungry.

Then this one night, I remember that I know where the key to the *big* kitchen is. And since I'm gonna eat the food anyway, and it would just be rude to wake the cooking staff at such an indecent hour...

Sorry Miss Relena, but I've raided your fridge!

So I grab the key from one of the security guards, promising him something to snack on in return, and I head to the main dining room.

The first thing that should have tipped me off was the fact that the door to the 'hall was unlocked. But I was a bit too hungry to really notice. The thing that caught me was the light on in the kitchen, and the scuffling sounds. I immediately went on the defense, yes I do sleep with my pistol loaded, ever since Victoria... But nevermind that. My gun's out, and I'm creeping towards the door, where the lock has obviously been broken.

I throw open the door, shouting "FREEZE!"

"Noin." I hear him groan, but I still keep my gun aimed at the open fridge, and he turns around-

He turns around holding an orange. A freakin' orange! Looking at me like I'm nuts; (which I'm beginning to think I am at this point, mind you.)

So I drop my gun, and calm myself down. "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I got hungry."

I can't help but smile at that. "So did I. Late-night fruit-attack Heero?"

And he just makes that "affirmative" sound, that you really can't put into words. And he starts peeling the orange, while I holster my gun and start making sandwiches. We work side by side, in silence.

Then I start *really* noticing what he's doing, he's putting a bunch of fruits into a blender, some ice, and then he flips the switch and just watches it all spin together.

I find myself mesmerized by it as well. The blending of all those different things into something completely new. The colors all melting into one. The swirling, it's just naturally entrancing I suppose.

He pours himself two glasses. And then hands me one, "I always make too much." his explanation.

"What's in it?"

"Stuff."

"What's in it, Heero?"

"It's good for you."

I start laughing, and he looks a little embarrassed. So I explain. "When I was in school, there was this bar I went to, and the bartender would always make us these really heavy drinks, but he did it really fast. And when we asked him what we were drinking, he'd say just that! 'It's good for you,' HA!"

"He drugged you?"

"No Heero, he just helped poor little Academy students like me and- my classmates- get really drunk, for cheap."

"So you just drank to get drunk?"

"That's college, Heero."

"That's alcoholism, Noin."

"You've obviously never been to college..."

So we spent the rest of the night talking and drinking whatever we could make. I'd just throw a bunch of things together, thinking they would taste good together. And Heero'd try anything. Some of the stuff we made was pretty harsh, but I've developed a taste for orange-strawberry-pistachio ice-cream shakes.

The good part's the last bit though. We're cleaning up, and he looks at me, like he wants to say something, but I beat him to it.

"This was fun Heero, we should do it again."

And he makes the "yes" noise.

But just to be difficult, he steals my sandwich and disappears before I can yell at him. And just as I'm about to play catch-up, the head chef walks in. And I gotta come up with an excuse for it all.

-*-*-*-*-

"I almost got him." Noin mused, tapping her fingers against the table. "You wanna know a secret about the mysterious 'Heero Yuy' Miss Catalonia? He's a brat! And I bet he's really funny, but he'll never let it show."

"You're just mad because he got your sandwich."

"So you're the midnight cake thief!" Relena pointed at Noin.

"Actually, that would be me." Dorothy raised her hand sheepishly.

"Dorothy!" Both Noin and Relena yelled.

"I know, I know."

"What cake, and where?" Noin asked raising her eyebrow. Relena threw a potato chip at her head, laughing.

"I'll tell you later," Dorothy said under her breath. Noin nodded secretly. "Well I suppose since we're all sharing our Heero-stories, and I've saved the best for last of course..."

"You have one Dorothy?" Relena looked a bit surprised. Dorothy leaned back.

"It's not so much about Heero per se, it's more about him and..."

-*-*-*-*-

Quatre Raberba Winner.

A mouthful. An interesting mouthful. An interesting boy.

Or I would know for certain, if I could just get a moment alone with him!

Oh don't get me wrong, my intentions are completely *innocent*, he just, intrigues me. What is one of the universe's most powerful people doing here in Sank? I'm such a simple girl, I might never get another chance to meet someone like Quatre Winner. So naturally, I'm drawn to speak with him.

That is, if he could put a leash on his puppy dog.

There he was, sitting on the edge of the fountain, looking over some notes before class. It would be the perfect opportunity for me to introduce myself, and get to know him personally. Besides, I'm sure I could help him with whatever he was studying for. I was just doing the good Samaritan thing...

And suddenly, my view is obscured by a pair of blue eyes. And not the ones I was aiming for.

"Dorothy Catalonia."

"Heero Yuy, so nice to see you today, if you'll pardon me."

"Where?" He sounded positively, *fierce*. But I wasn't going to let him sidestep me.

"Why, no where, but now that I think about it. Why don't you introduce me to your friend, Mr. Winner?"

I swear that boy growled.

"I think he's busy."

"I don't think he'll mind, if he's as nice as everyone says he is."

"I asked, he's busy."

Growing tired of the back and forth, I tried to scare him off myself. "You really are his bodyguard?"

"What?"

I had him, or so I thought. "You're always protecting him, always watching him, always at his side. Do you think me that dangerous Mr. Yuy? That you need to protect him from me?" I got closer, "Or are you keeping me all to yourself?" And I stole a kiss...

Yes, I'm a tease, I always have been. Ever since I was young, all the little boys would pull hair to make girls scream. Imagine my delight when all I had to do was bat my eyes, or bring my lips to theirs, to make those same little boys squirm!

And don't look so shocked Miss Relena. It was completely chaste, like the way I'd kiss my grandfather, a mere pleasantry of the lips.

He was taken aback, certainly. And the expressions he was making was certainly something to behold. I'd do it again and again if only to see the faces he made! But then a voice we didn't expect piped up.

"I'll leave you two alone," It was Quatre, he had seen the whole thing! "I was only going to say hello, but I can see you're both, busy..." He smiled at Heero, teasing him! I opened my mouth, finally getting a chance to speak to Quatre-

When Heero shut it, just as I had moments before. Keeping me in a kiss until Quatre had walked away from us, shaking his head, laughing. I tried to pull away, but Heero's stronger then he looks. I eventually had to bite his lip, and he backed off.

It wasn't a kiss like mine, it was a gag. He didn't want me saying one word to Quatre, (and perhaps with good reason.)

I could do nothing more then watch Heero Yuy, run away from me, easily catching up to Quatre Raberba Winner.

-*-*-*-*-

"I almost got him."

"I'd say you definitely got him." Noin snarked.

"Nope, no one will ever really get him Miss Noin, he's just that way..."

"Dorothy, what exactly do you want with Quatre Winner?" Relena leaned to her friend, a look of concern on her face, trying to search Dorothy's expression for the truth.

"Just," Dorothy shifted in her seat, "to talk. Royal flush." She lay her cards on the table.

Noin let her head drop, "No!"

Relena smiled crookedly, throwing away her best hand all night, four-pair. "You win."

Dorothy beamed as she gathered the remains of the snackpile into her arms, "Ha-ha! Finally! Mine!" She then sneezed a bit, and grabbed some tissues. "I must be allergic to losers."

Relena and Noin threw the remainder of the marshmallows at her.

*****

Heero Yuy was not having a good night.

Earlier that week, despite warnings from Quatre, he had gone outside the morning it was supposed to rain; without an umbrella because he was stubborn like that. He had been fighting off a nasty cold ever since.

Quatre gave him a big, fat, "I-told-you-so", and sent him to bed. He only got up for classes, meals, and to mess with ZERO when Quatre wasn't looking. One night he thought he had invented a cure-all consisting of orange-pineapple-blueberry-something juice. But his cold came back the next day, and he had been too ashamed to ask Noin what else she threw in the concoction.

The only consolation he got was from a few days ago, when he hopefully gave Dorothy whatever he had. She had to start showing symptoms any day now; that would teach her not to try to creep up on Quatre. It also would be worth the sore lip, she had sharp little teeth!

Quatre came into his bedroom after a particularly loud fit of sneezes.

"I'm fine." Heero groaned hoarsely, his voice was beginning to strain.

"You don't sound fine." Quatre dropped a fresh box of tissues next to his bedside table. "You gonna give me that 'I'm sneezing because somebody's talking about me' excuse again?"

"I swear, this only happens when-"

"Let me feel your head, you must be delirious!" Quatre laughed and put the back of his hand to Heero's forehead without thinking.

They both shivered, remembering what happened the last time their skin met. Quatre pulled away, looking at Heero, wearing a similar expression of surprise and blush, and... what?

Desire.

"Quatre..." Heero put his hands on Quatre's arms, covered by the soft cotton of his shirt, drawing him closer.

"Heero..." Quatre reached out and began to bend into the embrace, knees resting on the bed, and Heero moved himself into a sitting position under Quatre. Quatre let his mouth come closer to Heero's, their breath meeting, and ricocheting off one another. Their eyes slipped shut as their lips got closer and closer-

Heero turned his head and sneezed on Quatre's sleeve.

"Oh god," Heero said, completely humiliated, "Damn it."

"It's okay Heero." Quatre tried not to laugh, in spite of it all. He let go of Heero, rubbing his shoulders reassuringly, and standing up again. He looked at the offending sleeve, and chuckled. "It's no big deal, I'm gonna go change, and get you some juice, okay?"

Heero, just let himself flop back against the bed, putting one arm over his head in defeat. "Mmm hmm."

Quatre smiled at him, and left the room. Heero lay back in bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I almost got him, this time."

******

end!

Author's Notes: (feel free to ignore)

This is an obvious fusion with an episode of Batman: The Animated Series, entitled "Almost Got 'Im", so that's who came up with the idea that I bastardized. ^_^ The big difference is that there's this great surprise-usual-suspects-like twist that my story doesn't have. But that would involve me doing something that I would have hated writing. That's enough about the episode, I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it. Honestly the episode is great because it's enjoyable to both non-Batfans and Batfans alike. If you can find it, watch it.

I guess there's a fair amount of D+1, D+4 in this story. But it's so one-sided, and it's more of fascination and malice, then the warm & gooshy feelings like Relena has for Heero, and Noin for Zechs.

Oh, and if you've seen the show, Dorothy's story should have set off every one of your bullshit detectors. If not, go rent episodes, 29-49? And then re-read.

This was written in 5 hours, in the library, fueled by a single bottle of Wild Cherry Pepsi. God Bless PepsiCo for owning half of my school.


End file.
